4 ways to stop a tantrum in its tracks

You’re in the grocery store and your toddler breaks down in tears.

She’s stomping her feet and falling to the ground. Everyone is watching you. You’re tempted to give her the iPad back so that everyone will stop watching. You clench your jaw. You feel like you’re backed into a tight corner. You feel everyone’s eyes on you. You feel shame warming your cheeks. You are one word away from throwing a tantrum yourself.

What do you do next?

First of all, being a parent is hard. It feels like you’re constantly navigating society’s expectations and your own when it comes to raising a happy and confident child. So how can you ease the flood of tears, get all of your groceries, stop the weird looks, and head home in a timely manner?

Use these 4 steps to ease tantrums and support your child as they experience big emotions:

>> Acknowledge Feelings & Communicate The Boundary.

Acknowledging feelings could sound like, “I see that you are really angry.” And communicating the boundary could sound like, “and we cannot use the iPad all of the time because there are other things to do in our life other than playing on the iPad. Right now we need to get our groceries, not play on the iPad.”

>> Stay Calm. Take a breath.

It’s hard to stay calm when your little one is panicking and throwing their body on the floor. To onlookers, it may look like your child is dying, struggling. After communicating the boundary and acknowledging how they feel, take a deep breath. If you let your emotions escalate, their emotions will as well. Try to stay calm as best you can.

>> Attune to yourself so you can have patience when listening and understanding them.

Tune into your breath and what you are currently feeling. If you are feeling anger about their out-lash, acknowledge that. Knowing how we feel at each moment can help us stay calm and respond appropriately to our child.

>> Hold your boundaries.

You’re onto minute 3 of grocery store breakdown, and you feel yourself starting to break. “Maybe giving her the iPad wouldn’t be so bad after all?” Whatever you do, stand firm in your boundaries. If it’s about the iPad, don’t give the iPad back. Do as you said. If it is about the coco Rice Krispies, don’t cave. Learning boundaries are important for the little ones. Stay strong.