4 ways to shake off self-doubt when you’re feeling like a fraud
There’s a great secret of adulthood.
We’re not told about it in childhood, but most of us catch on at some point in life. The secret? We’re all just winging it.
When we’re growing up, it seems like adults know everything, it seems like they have it all together, it seems like they are thoroughly qualified for their responsibilities. But then we become adults, and the jig is up.
For some, this knowledge is freeing—an empowering notion that we don’t have to know everything in order to chase after our career goals, become a parent, or reach any other “adult” achievement. For others, it’s downright terrifying.
Those of us who are struck with terror are usually also overcome with self-doubt, questions of self-worth, and feeling that we don’t deserve being where we are. This collection of doubts has a name: impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern that consists of believing that we are a fraud. We might get a job and believe we are unqualified for it—or not even apply to the job in the first place because of this belief. We might constantly question our value to society, to clients, to friends, to our bosses.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Impostor syndrome is extremely common: a majority of women experience it in their careers, and it is also quite (maybe just as) common in men. Its prevalence is particularly high among ethnic minority groups, and it has often been found to be comorbid with anxiety and depression.
Impostor syndrome can, unfortunately, be pretty debilitating and get in the way of us living our lives and reaching our full potential in our careers. The good news is that there are ways to reduce our fraud-like feelings and rid ourselves of impostor syndrome. Here are just a few:
1. Open up to others
One of the best ways to combat impostor syndrome is to realize that most of us experience it. The simple act of relating over these feelings can do wonders.
The act of sharing our self-doubts is always helpful and can often relieve some of these burdens. But hearing from others about their impostor syndrome is just as important. We are suddenly able to realize that all sorts of people, of many different experience and achievement levels, have these feelings—and pursue their dreams nonetheless.
2. Take stock of your life
Looking back at our lives thus far is often one of the easiest ways to shake off impostor feelings.
Remind yourself of all the things you have accomplished, all the things you do know, and what you believe to be true. Faith in ourselves is a combination of what we believe to be true and inspired action. When we take stock of our lives, it is not only a culmination of what we’ve done but also what we believe to be true. We’re often blind to our own achievements, and we just as often take our own knowledge and expertise for granted. The chances are good that you are far more qualified than you realize—and a simple reminder of that can do wonders.
3. Ditch perfectionism
Perfectionism and impostor syndrome often go hand in hand. Those of us who are perfectionists often believe that unless we and our creations, accomplishments, or projects are perfect, we must be a fraud. But this is misguided thinking. Even the most accomplished, most talented and intelligent people in the world are not perfect. No one ever is.
So, your “imperfections” aren’t a sign that you are a fraud—they’re just a sign that you’re human.
4. Do the thing anyways
Sometimes, the self-doubt is stubborn and refuses to go away. Sometimes, that fraud feeling just won’t budge and we have to continue to carry it.
When this happens, make the conscious decision to act as if you know you’re worth it. (Remember, faith is inspired action and belief.) Make the choice to chase after opportunities or tackle projects, even when that little voice in the back of your head is telling you you’ll fail.
When your brain is telling you that you’re an impostor, prove your brain wrong. It’ll keep your doubt from crippling you, and the act itself just might punch a hole in your wall of self-doubt.
Overcoming impostor syndrome
So, while impostor syndrome can be a huge barrier in our lives, it doesn’t have to be. Many of us—and many of the most successful of us—struggle with it, so it is manageable and even healable.
We have to let go of our ingrained notions that we have to know everything or that we’ll never be qualified. We are always worthy, and we are almost always more qualified than we believe. Once we realize that it’s just our own mind and our own self-doubt that are holding us back, we can give ourselves the chance to live the life we deserve.