How to tell if your relationship is one sided

Is your relationship one sided?

You’ve been putting in a lot of work, going the extra mile for your partner, and you’re feeling exhausted. All the work and energy isn’t really coming back to you, or at least that’s how you feel.

You feel like you show up for them but that they don’t necessarily show up the same way for you.

A lot of us get to this place and ask the question: is my relationship one sided?

Whether your partner is new or one you’ve been with for many years, it is common to have this feeling. You aren't alone.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if this is a relationship you want to continue pursuing:

Has the relationship always felt this way? For those starting a new flame, if the relationship has always felt this way, have you asked for what you need? For those who have been in a relationship for a long time, is this something that has been present since the beginning or something that has just started? It is common to have emotional droughts, phases where the connection isn’t necessarily like it used to be due to life stressors.

Have you asked for what you need? If you ask for your needs and they make the changes you need, your relationship isn’t one sided. You are just different people and need to communicate what you need and like. If you ask for what you want and they could care less, then maybe it is time for you to get up and out.

Recognize that no matter how much you and your partner love and understand each other, you will still need to communicate your desires and needs.

You and your partner are different people from different backgrounds and families. Your partner doesn’t need to be a different person to connect with you and neither do you. Honor your differences. You can each be yourself in the relationship if you can communicate what you need in certain moments.

Connect with our relationship therapist Abby Van Egdom to get the love and connection you deserve in this one, precious life.