There’s gotta be more to life: Navigating life after college

You just finished college or maybe you’re a couple of years out of college, and you’re grappling with the idea that nothing else is planned.

For once, you don’t know what comes next. For most of your life, you (for the most part) knew what came next. You knew that after elementary school came middle school, high school, and college. The last 16 years have been planned to the tee. And now, there is not one single plan. What happens next is up to you.

Not having a plan can be freeing and also terrifying, especially when we are amidst a global pandemic and every area of our lives seems uncertain. Seeing a future right now can be challenging.

Outside the structures of school, we have the ability to create the life we’ve imagined or can’t quite yet imagine. We have a certain amount of freedom, if we can see the uncertainty that way.Here’s how to navigate uncertainty and create a purpose-driven life:

> Tune in to your passion. What are things that make you excited? List them and discover new ways you can incorporate them into your life. These passions can be tiny moments like sipping coffee or bigger ones like which tasks you enjoy at work. Figure out what activities make you get excited. This goes hand and hand with your strengths. When you can match moments of joy with your strengths, you find activities or moments that you are good at and bring joy. That’s a double whammy. Find your strengths at Strength finder 2.0. Focusing your energy on these things requires less energy for output. Through this process, you find what makes you uniquely you. Focus on a job or skill that utilizes your strengths.

> Incorporate more of your passions and moments of excitement into your life. You know those little moments that feel like effervescent bubbles in your belly? Moments of excitement that make you happy to get out of bed? Incorporate more of those into your life whether they are big or small. Get a little kick out of creativity? See what type of meal you can create with whatever is left in the fridge. Like spreadsheets? How can you make more?

> Think about people who you admire. What is it that makes these people admirable to you? This can be a key indicator of what you want more of in your life. Do you admire them for their ability to be fun or organized? Notice where you may want more of that specific trait in your life and start to think of ways you can create it.

> Listen to doubts, but don’t necessarily follow them. They show up when you’re on the edge which means you’re challenging yourself. They are serving you but also protecting you. You don’t have to believe them, but acknowledge them, inquire about them, and keep moving forward. “The antidote to fear and doubt is possibility.”

> You don’t have to have it all figured out. Though it may seem like everyone has everything in order, they don’t. You don’t have to have all the answers. In fact, no one does. Figuring out ourselves is a day by day process. Each day if we can incorporate one thing or one more thing that makes us happy, we’re doing well. I once asked my 60 year old dad if he had his life together. He laughed at me and said exuberantly, “I’m still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.” 

> Take it one day at a time. You don’t have to have anything figured out so take it one day at a time. Figure things out as you go and celebrate each step, even the seemingly small wins. No one graduates high school or college knowing exactly how they will make a living. It takes fine tuning, and fine tuning isn’t a quick process, nor is it expected to be.

> Acknowledge that you aren’t expected to know how to do all of this stuff. You want to know how to do everything and be everything because you don’t want to fail and you want to make the right choice, but you aren’t expected to know. You’ve gotten to where you are now by embracing that you don’t really know. At one point, maybe a year ago, you might’ve felt stuck, and you’ve gotten to where you are now despite that feeling.

> It’s important to plan and also not be too attached to that plan. Planning is good. It helps us prepare for uncertainty and unknown, but when we are too attached to our plan, we have a hard time making necessary changes. When we attach to our plans, we interpret any event that gets in the way of our plans as life changing or incredibly disruptive. It doesn’t allow for any adaptability or for the possibility for the event to be better than you expected.

> Remember to be realistic. You may have to settle for a job now, but that might open up an opportunity for a different job later. Focus on a skill you want to refine rather than the end result. When we focus on a skill we enjoy, we can then develop ourselves in that will allow us to deepen that skill and grow. It’s about the process rather than the end result.

> Who’s in your corner? Look for  patterns where cerain people are consistent in your life. Who reminds you of who you are in a way that can pull you back into yourself in difficult moments? Who is your go-to support network? Lean on them in times of confusion. These people know you and what you’re good at as well as what gets in your way in difficult moments. When in doubt, reach out. They are your hype team. Ask the people in your corner for what you need and don’t be afraid to let them know when they aren’t being helpful. 

It’s also easy to feel like there is no one in our corners—no one we can trust or go to for support. But you are never alone. Therapy is a great way to get the support you need.

Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone. You already know there is more to life and you have a purpose, whether you’ve discovered it yet or not. Today, you are closer to the next step than you were yesterday. Keeping this in mind will help you move with momentum so that time doesn’t feel like it’s being wasted. You may not be where you want to be right now, but you’re on your way to get there, navigating big unknowns. Having someone on your side can help you get there sooner rather than later. Schedule a free one-on-one consultation to discover how you can get where you want to go.